


face it

by allmywill



Category: Blondie (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:01:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21999409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmywill/pseuds/allmywill
Summary: I read Debbie Harry’s memoirFace It, and as a long time fan, here are my thoughts and feelings!
Kudos: 2





	face it

**Author's Note:**

> this got pretty personal, so if you don’t care to read that, scroll to the paragraph starting with ‘So...’!

I discovered Blondie back in 2016. It was my birthday (which I just happen to share with Debbie) and I found a beautiful copy of _Parallel Lines_ at the record store I was at. I had already heard and liked _One Way or Another_ , plus it felt like something was drawing me to that record. I bought it, and I consider buying that album one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I had this weird gut feeling that I can’t explain. It’s like I knew they were going to become my favorite band.

I spent the rest of my summer obsessed with the album, and I slowly made my way through their discography from there. My last year of high school, I was so into them that many people I knew associated them with me. I did my makeup like Debbie in the _Heart of Glass_ video. I had a patch on the front of the jacket I wore everyday. Debbie was my wallpaper on my phone and my laptop, and I had pictures of her and the band all over my room as well.

I listened to them in morning while waiting in the lobby for the bus, then all the way to school on the bus. When I hear _X Offender_ now, I still think of those sunny mornings, going through town over the train tracks. My memories are vivid and beautiful. The music certainly helps with that. Another bus favorite of mine was _Pretty Baby_. Stars live in the evening, but the very young need the sun...

Because of Blondie, I really developed a sense of self. Since no one else I was around cared about them like I did, I felt like they were mine. I had my own little world to escape to whenever I listened to the music. It was my safe place, a place I found a sense of belonging. They inspired me to experiment with my style and my art. They have done so much for me over these past few years.

I bought the rest of their albums as I found them in record stores here and there. _Eat to the Beat_ , _The Hunter_ , _Autoamerican_ , and so on. The constant hunt is a lot of fun, I must say. I’m still accumulating stuff today. There’s just so much material!

 _Pollinator_ was released about three weeks before I graduated. I beat the hell out of that album in those three weeks. I fell in love with it from the first listen, and I still love it just as much now. _Long Time_ really resonates with me. _Fragments_ tears my heart into pieces, the raw emotion Debbie conveys gets me every time. I first heard it when I was quite fixated on one of my friends at the time, and the lyrics make me think of them. _Do you love me now?_ Those words bounced around my brain to begin with, and hearing her sing them? Well, that brought me to tears. Seeing it live was a whole other experience; I was practically shaking.

My first Blondie show was in Bethel, New York on the Rage and Rapture tour with Garbage in July 2017. I’ve been to quite a few concerts in my life, but this one was like, for the lack of a better term, a religious experience. I’ve also been obsessed with a lot of different bands over the years—this has always been more than an obsession for me. This is the band I was meant to grow with, to attach myself to as I enter the rocky stages of young adulthood.

I teared up several times, mostly during _Fragments_. It was surely worth the long drive and lost sleep; I had worked that morning and was awake for almost an entire day because of it. So worth it.

As I settled in at my new job, getting used to being more of an adult and less of a teenager, I continued to worship Blondie. I clung to them, the music helping me get through the tougher times, as I lost friends, made mistakes, and reinvented myself over and over again.

Having this job meant that I could splurge a little more the next time I could see them, and I did. I saw them again almost exactly 2 years later at the same place, in July 2019 with Elvis Costello. That month was arguably one of worst months of my life. I was lower than I had ever been, so lost and scared. My world was falling apart. But this concert was something to look forward to, a glimmer of hope in all that darkness.

I was in the third row from the front, on the end. With my dark hair and dramatic makeup, I’d like to think that I stood out quite a bit. During _Maria_ , Debbie smiled and waved at me. My dad got the whole thing on video. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face; that was the first time all month I had smiled like that. Strange how something so small and simple can help so much. I’ll never forget that. Thinking about it still brings a smile to my face.

Things got better for me after that night. Slowly, but surely, I started to feel better. It took me a while, though eventually I did heal from everything, both physically (my severely overworked body) and mentally. I have Blondie to thank for being one of the hands that helped pull me out of that rut I was in.

So, fast forward to now. I just finished reading Debbie’s book today. I’ll start by saying this: it was everything I had hoped for and more. It was raw, emotional, intimate, and even hilarious at times.

Once I picked it up, I couldn’t put it down. Reading it was like sitting down and having a conversation with her. The way it flows through the years is so seamless. It’s definitely well written. As a writer myself, that’s something I can appreciate.

What intrigues me the most is how she seems to have such a firm understanding of herself. She also understands that her past helped shape her, created her into the person she is today. She wouldn’t change anything, not even her lowest moments. I admire that a lot.

She explains how she feels and has felt a sense of abandonment all her life, and she traces that back to her birth mother giving her up for adoption when she was 3 months old. That makes a lot of sense to me, because while I’m not adopted, I have been abandoned and tossed aside by people more times than I can count. It really gives you a different view of the world, and yourself, too. I relate to her strongly with this.

And it comes as no surprise that Debbie is a very creative person. She used to make her own clothes, which I also can relate to. I’ve been cutting sleeves off shirts and sewing stuff to my clothes for as long as I can remember. My jean jackets were, and still are, my pride and joy. I may look crazy in public but the weird looks I get from strangers only fuel my creativity.

The fan art sprinkled throughout the book is very thoughtful. She appreciates the people who take the time to make it and give it to her, and that’s almost a direct quote. You can tell she genuinely cares about other artists, she’s fascinated by the minds of others and how they view the world.

One part in particular brought me to tears, and I promise I’m not one to cry _that_ often! I just get emotional when dealing with certain subjects. Anyway, when I got to the part where she talks about Chris getting sick in 1982, that hit me. Hard. She was devastated to watch him waste away and she did everything she could to help him. She loved him so much. She still does; she must have said it five or six times throughout the book.

They have always made a great team. I found it interesting to read that even after they broke up, they still saw each other every day. Their connection runs deep. I find that so beautiful, that two people who really love and care for each other will risk anything and everything for the other person.

Further along in the book, she talks about how she felt when Chris got married. She admits that she was devastated, but more happy for him than anything. I can only imagine how hard that was for her. But she’s a strong woman, that’s evident.

Around the time of the reunion, Debbie mentions working with Duran Duran briefly. Of course my eyes were glued to the page at the mention of them; they’re very important to me as well. I had a good laugh at this part. She recalls an unnamed member of the band at the time “ripping off his clothes” while they were trying to record. As a huge fan of Duran, I knew right away she was talking about their guitarist at the time: Warren Cuccurullo. I laughed my ass off at that. She seemed to find it pretty funny too.

If you’re a fan, I recommend giving it a read. It offers a lot of insight regarding Debbie herself and the band as a whole. I idolized her before, of course, but I think I do even more so now that I’ve read the book.

Words can hardly express how much love I have for Debbie and Chris. They are both amazing people and I’m so lucky to be alive at the same time they are. My life would not be the same without them and the wonderful music they’ve created.


End file.
